If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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