We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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