How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
