i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
