Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
