Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
