Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
