Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
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