Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
