Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
