i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
