FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize