i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
