i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
