It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Bring me that man meat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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