You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
