That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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