Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
