Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
