The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
