Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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