I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
