I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
