My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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