Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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