U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She's like a pop up book from hell.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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