At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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