no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize