btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
