Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize