I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
