i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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