My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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