Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?

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(949): View more from California

Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.

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(858): View more from California

Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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(972): View more from Texas

Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night

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(775): View more from Nevada

We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.

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