He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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