I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
