she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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