So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
