He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
