Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
