I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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