i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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