The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
