Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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