That's when you crack a 10am beer
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
