the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
