yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
