Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
