Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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(248): View more from Michigan

u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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(818): View more from California

On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

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(209): View more from California

i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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(775): View more from Nevada

Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

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(925): View more from California

He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.

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(530): View more from California

I wish to strangle

(310): View more from California

whoa there darth vader

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(804): View more from Virginia

I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Most formal booty call EVER

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