i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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