I can tuck mytits in my pants
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
