just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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