shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
