She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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