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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
