Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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