she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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