I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
