you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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