I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
