It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
