we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
