she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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