he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
