We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
