It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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