So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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